Hey, is there anything more annoying than our fellow human beings when they get behind the wheel? Probably not (except maybe for the magazine subscription companies that call early on Saturday mornings, but that's a whole 'nother post on its own).
Take this afternoon's traffic, for example. (I know, I know... "Take this afternoon's traffic... Please!") There are almost 30 stoplights between my house and my workplace, and every freakin' one of 'em was red on my way in today. Yep, every one of the blessed things -- but those delays weren't much of a problem compared to my fellow drivers.
Where shall I start... hmm... howzabout the spotlessly clean, highly polished high-end minivan in front of me whose driver always kept a few extra car lengths between herself and the next vehicle, resulting in a rolling backup in the center lane (with me at the head)? This particular driver was so cautious that things got even worse at stoplights; the light would go green, the traffic in the left & right lanes would move forward, and she'd sit looking carefully first to the left, then to the right, and finally begin to crawl forward, making sure there weren't any rampaging 18-wheelers plowing through the flowing traffic on either side to scratch her minivan's paint. (Not to mention what they would've done to all the stopped cars & trucks on the side streets.) No matter how hard I tried, I simply could not get out from behind this particular vehicle until we reached the turnoff for the highway... at which point she suddenly darted to her right, cutting across one lane of traffic (causing the car next to me to panic-brake) and zipping between two closely-spaced pickups (one of which had to panic-brake) in the exit lane in order to not miss the exit... An exit that was clearly marked, with her passing the first of several signs without noticing more than half a mile back and several minutes earlier.
Now, for those of you who think I'm being unfair to women drivers, let me add a note: I don't care if it's a male, a female, or a hermaphrodite behind the wheel (not sure I even care if its a member of homo sapiens). When a driver interferes with the flow of traffic, when a driver holds up traffic at intersections, when a driver completely misses and/or ignores clear indications of a needed exit well in advance, when a driver pulls multiple Stupid People Tricks in the space of a coupla hundred feet of crowded roadway to make up for ignoring clear signage... Well, that driver's an idiot. An unsafe idiot who's not so likely to be involved in an accident as to cause a series of accidents (probably to look in the rear-view mirror and give their head a shake at how unsafe all those other drivers are). Annoying (at least!), regardless of gender or lack thereof.
Meanwhile, let's take a look at the fine gentleman I encountered earlier in my commute. He was driving one of those extra-large pickups with the double-wheel axle in the rear. This particular truck (which seemed equipped with an unusually loud & clattery diesel engine) was heavily laden with the tools I normally associate with someone doing hard physical labor, so maybe the guy driving was just tired, or sore enough to have trouble with steering. In any case, I was repeatedly forced to drift sideways to my left (once scaring the bejeezus out both myself and the driver of a small compact in my blind spot) to avoid the aforementioned extra-loud and clattery diesel engine and all the truck parts attached to it. (In retrospect, maybe it wasn't extra-loud & clattery, it may simply have been much closer to me than the average diesel engine on the road.) The worst part was that this guy parked himself on my right rear fender; no matter how fast or slow I tried to go, his front bumper was roughly even with my right passenger door. At one point I was practically rolling over the car in front of me in a desperate move to avoid another one of his swerves into my lane when I noticed there was enough room between the pickup and the next car in his lane for at least two 18-wheelers... but I couldn't use all that free space because he kept his vehicle just behind the midpoint of my own. I finally managed to peel him off at a stoplight (all that heavy gear in back plus non-turbo diesel kept his acceleration slow) and get in front of him... Which is when I encountered the minivan I first complained about. (I lost sight of the truck in traffic behind me -- he apparently turned off at some point while I was trying to avoid rear-ending the minivan.)
Worst part is, I don't know what was more annoying: the pickup, the minivan, or the fact that they both managed to get away scott-free with driving so badly.
Annoying, no matter what.
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