Tuesday, January 3, 2012

It's Not Just the Birds...

...that are annoyed. (I may be stretching a point, but "angry" is just "annoyed" with more emphasis.)

Imagine for a moment that you spend (too) many hours every day using your computer, and that in order to give yourself a break from work you install a small number of games. None of the MMORPGS like Blizzard Entertainment's well-known World of Warcraft, nor alternate reality "games" like Linden Lab's Second Life, nor strategic life simulations like Maxis' Sim City or first-person "shooter" games like Bungie's Halo; those require almost as much an investment of time as the "real work" the system is being used for.

I am referring instead to the type of game that only takes a few minutes for one to bring up, complete a level or three, and then close, occupying just enough time to refresh one's mind by taking it away from an assigned "real" task without actually breaking the flow of the workday. Something like a mah jongg adaptation, or a solitaire simulation, or.... or that game whose name I will not mention that requires one to slingshot a variety of simulated spherical birds with unique special powers at a set of odd constructs made of simulated wood, glass and stone that are occupied entirely by a variety of simulated green pigs that exist merely as animated heads.

(If you don't know whereof I speak, please conduct an online search for a company called Rovio; they created, and own all rights to, a plethora of variations on this particular game.)

"But why," I hear you ask, "are you annoyed with a game that you obviously have installed on your computer and play regularly, if not actually far too often for your own good?"

Your puzzlement is easy to understand: The game is deviously addictive, with an entertaining premise and even more entertaining characters and sound effects; it is controlled by an intuitive set of "gestures" on smartphones and touchpad-equipped computers (as well as being playable with a mouse on other computers); consumers can purchase and run the game on almost any flavor of any operating system on any device with or without a lower-case "i" at the beginning of its name; and the producers (named above) offer an almost ridiculous range of variations for many tastes. Better yet, the company regularly offers free updates that add new levels of play to keep one's purchase shiny-new and engrossing long after many other games have been turned into .sit or .zip files and deleted from one's device.

It is, unfortunately, this last feature that has added to this particular user's annoyance. (If the online forums and game reviews are to be believed, I am far from alone.)  "You see," I reply, "the last update scrambled the eggs, turned the pigs to bacon, and blasted the birds from the sky."

I will be the first to admit that in the overall scheme of daily life, my inability to slingshot ridiculous simulated pseudo-birds at simulated walls of rock, wood and glass to kill alien-colored simulated pseudo-pigs ranks fairly low on the importance meter -- but I did pay for the product, and I did enjoy using it, and I did not do anything to damage it. The problem was created entirely by the creator(s) of the game. The last update (ironically a party-themed set of levels designed to celebrate the game's success) changed the control gestures without warning and introduced a set of system/software problems that rendered it unplayable even if users did manage to un-learn all their previous skills and memorize the new, less intuitive gestures.

I have had enough experience in the IT industry to know that one does not ensure half the planet has downloaded one's software package and then suddenly change almost all the commands (or controls) customers have learned without warning. I also know that an update is supposed to enhance, not destroy, the functionality of one's product. (I am not referring to a loss of functionality based on having to learn a completely changed set of control gestures; I am referring to a loss of functionality based on stack overflow errors, issues related to the game doing things on its own without user interaction, and the inability of several control gestures to actually do anything.)

Credit should be given where it is due, and the first wave of complaints was only a couple of days old when a "stability fix" patch was released by the manufacturer, again free for all users. For those of you not in the IT field, this is somewhat akin to what one sees on that TV show where a house is demolished, completely rebuilt from the ground up, and fully furnished in the space of one week -- but with no power tools allowed, and all the workers have to stay awake the entire week.

Happily, I can confirm that I have not seen a single Stack Overflow error since the patch was released.

Unhappily, I can confirm that the game still engages in unscheduled self-play at odd intervals, or will suddenly decide to not advance to the next level when one level is completed. Worse yet, at least one key "new and improved" control gesture still does not work at all while the entire set of control gestures remains less intuitive than the original.  The bottom line is that what was once an addictive bit of fun is now just fifty-some-odd megabytes of wasted space on my laptop's hard drive. I will wait a few more days before archiving and deleting the application, but hope is fading.

Rovio, you can turn this annoyed customer back into a satisfied paying customer if you would just return the game to its former state and in the future did not change (and break) the functionality and playability of your collection of Extremely Upset Avians. Until then, I remain...

...annoyed.

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