Just Rewards

Ah, the corporate loyalty/rewards program. Charge eleventy-seven thousand dollars on your credit card and earn a free flight across the parking lot; have the kid behind the register punch a hole in your card every time you spend $50 on fast food and you will eventually earn a free small bag of fries; provide enough personal information to your local supermarket chain to give privacy advocates massive coronaries and you will be entitled to pay only the advertised prices at checkout instead of the unadvertised higher "non-member" prices... There are abundant other examples[1], I am sure the general idea is familiar to the majority of readers.

But what happens when a loyalty rewards program goes awry... or is simply too disorganized to predict?  The following set of nested annoyances are a completely true story; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent (and, in an effort to avoid an annoying meeting with a large corporation's legal department, the guilty as well).

There is a nationwide bakery-cafe franchise chain here in the USofA that covers most of the nation under one of two names (possibly three, since they apparently recently concluded the purchase a competing regional chain)[2]. I am not a "regular" customer but I certainly have partaken of their wares on numerous occasions. After all, they are convenient, offer reasonably-priced tasty food that is also relatively healthy, and provide a generally clean & comfortable environment for meals that are fast but not "fast food" (the free WiFi hotspots don't hurt, either).  One of my friends eats at a local franchise several times every week, and I know some people who essentially live there for a large portion of any given business day (there's that free WiFi again).

A couple that I know well have also found this chain to be convenient, and eat there often enough to have joined the company's rewards program; it is their recent (annoying) experience that I am about to share.

Not too long after joining the rewards program, my friends bought some bread and were told they now had enough points for their choice of one free bagel or one free danish; they split the danish over coffee in an unexpected "time out" in the middle of the day. Some time later, after spending $16 on lunch they qualified for two free pastries. This pattern continued for a while, with periodic small "freebies" becoming available as the rewards points added up.

The problem was that the algorithm through which those points were accrued seemed almost random; sometimes free products were earned twice in a week, other times they came weeks apart without apparent rhyme or reason. Still, there were no extra fees involved, and it was free food, so the situation remained puzzling but not the least bit annoying.

Then came the day the couple decided to use the chain's baked goods for a very large party. Rather than pay extra for the offered catering service, they simply "catered" the event themselves with foods purchased from several sources; by day's end the bill for baked goods from this particular franchise location totaled $170 (a full order of magnitude larger than any other purchase they had made).

A few days later, the couple again stopped for lunch at a nearby location, expecting to possible get a free sandwich, perhaps more, due to the recent very large purchase... but when they asked what rewards they have earned, the response was, "nothing, sorry." Surprised, they asked the young man behind the cash register to re-check their status in the system and he asked his manager to re-check their status in the system... but once again the answer was, "nothing, sorry." The manager then explained that the rewards program was based not on how much money a customer spent, but on how often a customer made any purchase. When the couple pointed out to him that they had earned no rewards for giving the company $170 in one day but could earn several free products if they only gave the company $45 over the course of a week, the manager's response was, "Sorry, I don't make the rules."

Annoyed, the couple finished their lunch and went about their business. Some days later the most convenient choice for a fast lunch on the run was a different franchise location -- and this time the receipt automatically printed out by the cash register said they had qualified for two free pastries.

With a grin and a shrug, the couple asked to claim their reward, whereupon the youngster behind the register informed them that their rewards card number did not exist. Waving their evidence to the contrary under the young man's nose, they were told -- this time by the manager -- that their rewards card was invalid, their number did not exist, they were not in the system... and they could not have any free products.

The now thoroughly annoyed couple left the store, then on a whim tried a different franchise location not very far away. They explained their plight to the manager and showed him their receipt, and he consented to check their reward status. Once again, the number came back as invalid -- but this manager apparently had paid closer attention to the "Customer Service" chapter of his training manual because he graciously told them that they had a valid receipt saying they were entitled to two free pastries so they should pick out two they liked and he would gladly package them free of charge.

The couple picked a pair of pastries[3] but before they left, the manager decided to run their number through the system one more time. "Guess what? You've qualified for one free bagel!"

[ . . . ]

Is something really a "reward" if it carries that much annoyance with it? <sigh>
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[1] As expected, there is a fairly interesting Wikipedia entry on the subject.

[2] The chain also has a presence in Canada, but the total number of locations is just a very small single-digit number.

[3] Doesn't that line show up in a nursery rhyme somewhere....?